There have been times in my life when a breakdown seemed imminent, and lo and behold, I had one. After those incidents, people in my life—like parents, counselors, and doctors—looked back on the circumstances surrounding the breakdown and agreed, “Yeah, it’s no wonder.” I, too, understood where those meltdowns came from.
But about six months ago when I short-circuited (not to the point of self-harm or anything, just had an incapacitating freak-out for a few days), it didn’t seem imminent. It was unexpected. And people around me would have said the same thing. Today I’m writing to try figure out: What was up with that? And is there a bigger issue (a hidden root) I need to deal with?
Most people when they look at my life wouldn’t say I’ve got a problem: They’d probably say I’m really organized and driven—not breakdown material. I’m a leader in my church and have labored for the past two years to bring others to Christ, because I was so excited when I finally found him. So, in 2011, I started a small group Bible study with the intent of providing a place for my “Christian” friends to talk about Christ. Prior to that, I noticed we didn’t really talk about him together. Go figure.
Then, I got involved with a prayer ministry called Straight 2 the Heart. I took a three-month training, co-wrote a book with the program’s mastermind, and several months later my prayer partner and I started praying with two other friends to help them experience the freedom and joy we had found.
Concurrent with my prayer training, I took on the position of music leader at church and drummed up all kinds of “great” ideas to bring our fragmented church back together. One of them was starting a choir, and another was putting song leaders into teams to create community.
Last fall, 2012, I was on a roll, doing just everything in my little power to “revive” my church, which, I thought, had grown stale. I was proud when my older brother, now a missionary, visited us and observed that our home, with its two Bible study/prayer meetings a week had become an outreach center. I basked in the glow of his approval: if you haven’t guessed, I thrive on such accolades.
Breaking Point
Then, December came, and I had ten musical programs to line up, including the music all that month for church, and five vespers programs. Halfway through the month an out-of-state choir was to come perform, and I thought I had it all under control. I arrived at the church a safe thirty-five minutes early, or so I thought, only to be met by a disgruntled choir director who informed me I was supposed to have opened the church for them an hour in advance for set-up. She swore we’d discussed this detail on the phone, but I had absolutely no recall of it. Between setting up meetings, making phone calls, sending group emails to my Bible study and prayer groups, and coordinating choir things, my mind was too full to accommodate the memory.
It was then that I excused myself for the bathroom and broke down. In the farthest stall from the entrance, I sat and I cried and cried and cried. I started hyperventilating and couldn’t catch my breath. I called my hubby to ask what I should do. I was supposed to go out and introduce the choir in a few minutes, and I couldn’t stop crying.
Someone else ended up introducing them for me. Meanwhile, I missed almost all of Handel’s Messiah while I huddled in that bathroom stall trying to compose myself.
After December was done and I’d met my immediate commitments, I stayed home from church most of January, and I cancelled our home Bible study. People didn’t understand why I’d just quit cold turkey, and I couldn’t explain.
Making Sense of Things
Six months later, I know I had taken on too much. Not only did I take on too many jobs, but I took on the burden of other people’s salvation, and the burden of our church’s brokenness. Under the guise of “doing the Lord’s work,” I committed the sin of trying to play God himself, as if I could “save” my friends’ souls and fix my church’s issues.
I know I had the best of intentions, but now I also know I had a big problem. You see, after you’ve had a mountaintop spiritual experience, as I’d had during the prayer ministry, Satan swoops in with new wiles to trap you. After receiving so much healing, I felt on top of the world. And that’s when Satan must’ve suggested that I could make this healing happen for others. And do it in my own strength.
This week I’ve been praying about the same problem. After a bit of a ministry hiatus, I’ve been dipping back into outreach. As the church’s newly elected prayer coordinator, I’ve initiated a new prayer group at church, and as the communications secretary, I’m already dreaming big dreams for connecting our church in some new ways.
If I don’t watch out, I’ll end up barreling headfirst into another breakdown. How do I counter this good, yet bad, tendency?
Avoiding Future Breakdowns
Not long after said breakdown, I heard a sermon on Elijah’s “mountaintop” experience, after which he promptly sank into a despondent state (sounded familiar; see 1 Kings 18 and 19). The speaker said it’s common to fall low after experiencing a high, because we are worn out, and we let our guard down. Then he talked about how God actually commanded Elijah to rest for awhile, take care of himself, and then delegate work to someone else (shortly thereafter, he passed his prophetic mantle to Elisha).
This idea about resting after a strenuous effort was advice I needed to hear. So was the part about delegating. And it also reminded me of some other Bible passages I’d already read on this subject.
As I pondered this topic, God brought to mind the story in Exodus where he actually commanded Moses to dole out his work to seventy elders. I also remembered how the early apostles doled out food preparation duties when their numbers were growing rapidly so they could devote themselves to prayer and ministry of the word (Acts 6:3, 4). I also stumbled on other verses that encouraged me, such as Matthew 9:38 and Ephesians 4:11-13, which tell me God has a specific, special work for me—and it doesn’t include doing everything I theoretically and possibly could do for the Lord, or the church.
So how do I avoid future breakdowns?
Now I know that answer has something to do with delegating, taking some pressure off myself. And I know it also entails homing in on my specific appointed work from God and not getting sidetracked by any and every possible thing I could do for God, because then I’d never get a break (except when I break down!).
I also need to keep praying, to uproot the false beliefs that keep telling me I have to do it all. And I have to keep praying for God to reveal why I feel the need to control things—and I have to let him release me. Like every growing and healing experience, this one will take time.
Lindsey Gendke 
Great look back Lindsey and insight. I always remember flying at time when the world gets busy and in particular the safety demonstration where you are instructed to place your mask on first before assisting others, I often do not do this and I am left gasping unable to help myself or others. I am also reminded as your many versus point out that God’s will is to share, His Word and His gifts. I find at times that when I take on so much myself it is a selfish act that serves my earthly ego and not my Creator’s will.
Thanks for sharing and it seems your wisdom and time to heal has provided you with a new and healthy perspective.
Mike, what a great analogy with the life mask! It’s true; we need to take care of ourselves first…with God’s will to guide us, of course, otherwise we do sometimes end up serving self instead of him. Glad we relate on this!
Hi Lindsey,
How do you know when you have “found Jesus”? I have always wondered if there is a specific point at which I’ll know. I go to church, I’m catholic and feel an inner peace and comfort in the mass but I don’t know if I’m experiencing what others do. I’m sincere in my question and really would love to know your take on it.
Thanks.
Mary
Wow, that is a great question, Mary. So many ways to answer that, I can only share my experiences. I think there is a difference between knowing “about” him and actually “knowing” him. I knew “about” him pretty much all my life. But with all the depression and negative, debilitating feelings I suffered for so much of my life, I’m sure I didn’t “know” him back then. (When we “know” him, we should have the “peace that passes understanding,” and I definitely did not have it!) For years in early adulthood I tried, with varying success, to read my Bible steadily and have a personal relationship with God. I think I came to “knowing” him in stages, but when I really felt a breakthrough was, incidentally, at another one of those times of breakdown!
It was in my second year of teaching, I was having a stressful year, and to top it off, my family back home was going through some awful stuff I couldn’t alleviate (because I was far away). One morning I just fell on my knees and cried to God, “I can’t take this anymore, you have to!” And I felt like He did. A weight lifted. And from then on, my life was different. Mind you, I was at that time regularly learning to read my Bible in the mornings–to “know” Jesus we both have to speak to him and listen, and we listen by reading his word.
The Bible says faith comes from the hearing of the word, and that is true. It also helps when Jesus pulls you out of a pickle, like he did me. Since then, I continue to grow in my relationship; I don’t think it’s good to ever get comfortable. We have to keep at it every day, just like we would with a spouse. I suppose I should write a blog post on this, shouldn’t I? Hope this helps! God bless!
I think you just did write a blog on this!!! For the first time it’s been clearly defined for me. Thank you very much and God Bless You Too.
Mary
Honest and encouraging through your personal experience and spiritual insight. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Glad to have you reading, Jazzmine!
I totally understand where you are coming from: currently having an unexpected breakdown myself! Gotta just keep moving forward, and lots of therapy!!
Sending thoughts of peace and relaxation to you–hoping the breakdown passes quickly! With the right medicine, it can!
I enjoy your writing style. And thank you for your openness and the spiritual advice you’ve shared. I recall this–spreading oneself too thinly–being one of my first lessons in life; I had to drop out of my first college because I failed to learn it. But God wastes none of our experiences; we just need to listen. Gladly following your writing.
Mike, thanks for the kind words; it’s always an encouragement to hear the writing is connecting personally with people. And I agree that God wastes none of our experiences…of course, we have to actually tune in to what he wants to teach us from them to see the benefit! Thanks for the follow; I am following you in return!
Thank you for sharing you experiences and your emotions! I struggle when my depression breaks me down. I always think, if I was a better, stronger Christian this would not happen to me, I would be able to “soar on wings like eagles.” Not crash into my bed and cry (which is what I did yesterday). But each day is a lesson and I must learn to rely more on God. Thank you for being a spiritual leader who is not afraid to open up and show that everyone can have a day like that.
Sometimes we just need a time of Sabbath and to renew our strength in God.
This post is exactly what I needed to read today. Thank you, and thanks to God.
(My breakdown story: http://manymoreripples.wordpress.com/2013/07/10/i-got-the-joy-joy-joy-joy-down-in-my-heart/)
I’m glad you found this helpful; it sure does help to know we’re not alone. And the most important thing to remember, as you say, is to “renew our strength in God” with a Sabbath rest. I pray you will rediscover your source of strength–and remember that none of us can ever be “good enough” or “strong enough” Christians–on our own. But with Christ, “all things are possible!” It is HIS strength that we can claim in those low moments…and he will revive us, even if it takes time. No shame in that! As long as you’re open, honest, and seeking God, you’re all right! It’s when we give up on him that we’ve really “lost it”! I’m so glad to find an audience for these spiritual highs and low; helps me to know I am not alone, too!
Wow, thanks for your transparency! Definitely makes you think 🙂
Thanks for reading! I do aim to make readers think!
Breakdowns are so instructive… just like unexpected injuries I just posted recovering from. That you can write about this is so much part of your healing journey! Keep on, Renee
“Instructive”…yes…that’s a good word! (Although these are lessons we’d sometimes rather not learn!) Thanks for the encouragement! Same to you!
I hear you… that’s why reflection is so wonderful… we near over it and can see the beauty beyond the pain in the layers of the experience…
Something very important that people in ministry often forget: You’re allowed to say “no!” and that doesn’t make you a bad Christian. Of course, we often fall into the trap of thinking we’re the only ones who can save everyone else and don’t even think of saying no.
May the journey of healing take you even closer to God.
I am trying to get better at “no”; although it comes hard for me! Thanks for the encouragement!
Wonderful post!! in my experiences sometimes i have what people have told me try to hold the entire world on my shoulders instead of letting God take control and it is so very easy to do this and forget that in this human life we are not capable of doing everything on our own. We want things to speed up and sometimes we forget that things happen in God’s time and not our own. God has amazing plans for you and you are doing an awesome thing to grow your church. The hardest thing to remember is patience and leave everything in God’s hand’s and he will lead you to things easily. I started my own Blog myself called Spirit Seeker and hopefully I can give as much insight in my Blog as you do in yours. I’ll keep you in my prayers.
Thanks so much for the prayers and encouragement! You are so right that we are “not capable of doing everything on our own.” This is the difference, I think, between Christianity and other religions; we don’t put our hope in ourselves and what WE can do–we put our hope in God! I, for one, am happy to let him handle all those mind-boggling problems I seem to face all the time. Good luck and God’s blessings on your blog!
I have been reminded again and again that it is Jesus I am to seek,not activities. Things don’t go right if I forget the true goal.
Words of wisdom, for sure. Thank you!
I like your perspective! Will definitely visit again
Thank you so much! I like getting visits!
Church is such and emotionally draining place, always pointing people to the “next life” for the support they desperately need right now. With a judgmental family and a dead-end job already on my nerves, the last thing I need is church!
Oh, ouch! You’re one of those people who has been hurt by the church, huh? I am saddened that this is the case for so many. I was hurt in the past, too, but I try not to let “Christians” (who are not Christlike) color my vision of God. I do believe many churches have gotten it wrong…totally missing the mark of ministering to the needs people have RIGHT NOW, in THIS LIFE! That is why I was so excited when I found Straight 2 the Heart Ministries, the prayer ministry that I joined, often reference in my blog, and am co-writing a book about (preview it under my “book preview” tab). The ministry is all about giving people the support they “desperately need right now” by focusing on the gospel in a new way: the suffering of Christ.
I agree that most of us do not need “church” (as most of us now know it); instead, we need Jesus and the healing he offers for our “everyday messiness and brokenness,” for things like addictions, depression, abuse, etc. (all topics covered in our book). I hope you’ll stick around so you can get your hands on a copy of our book when it comes out later this year. I hope things start looking up for you! Hang in there! And please don’t judge all Christians by the bad “church” experiences you may have had in the past (Jesus is a much better model!)
Yes Lindsey, this one will take time. As a recovering “do-it-all-er”, I feel your pain. After growing up in “the church”, two years of ministry school, and nearly five years of youth pastor/worship pastor, I had my breakdown. And it sent me into ICU for three days and a week on the psych floor. I shouldn’t be here. No, really…I should not be alive. BUT GOD has a plan and a purpose for my life (and yours). I took a 6 month hiatus, sat on the back row, and just “soaked up” Jesus. It was a time of restoration for my family and me, and God knew exactly what he was doing. I am now co-leading worship, but not leading the youth any longer. I finally gave myself permission to care for myself and to put my family first. I am so thankful for your trasnparency and glad to hear that things are looking up for you. Take care of yourself…no one else will!
Be well,
Steve
Wow, what a story you have, Steve, and a much more severe case of over-doing-it-overload than mine! Thank you, also, for sharing. So I’m seeing from my comments that this is a prevalent problem! Amazing, isn’t it, that so many of us Christians have had/are having this experience! How do we (as a Christian community) fix it? I wonder if pastors are taught to guard against this? Are you guys trained in self-maintenance and self-care (or burnout prevention), along with being taught to care for others? Obviously, this needs to be addressed. In my church we elect a “nominating committee” every year, and I’ve observed that often people will just pile too many jobs on one person, if he or she is willing to take them. Not smart, on the part of the church! Take care of yourself as well! Indeed, we both have to do this!
It’s a major problem. I was listening to our local Christian radio station just yesterday morning and the “call-in topic” was on anxiety in the Christian community. The number of calls, stories, and confessions was astounding! It’s a real problem and requires professional Christians who are willing to work with grace and compassion to help those in need.
I personally have never had any sort of ministerial traning on time management or self care, etc. No burnout training. Nothing. We’re pastors, “doing it all” is our job, right??? 😉
Another huge problem in many churches is that you have a few folks who do the majority of the “work”. Others might be willing, but we already have the pack mules loaded down, so why bother?
Thanks again for your perspective!
I enjoyed your blog concerning My Unexpected Breakdown. But really are any Breakdowns expected?
Hmmm, good question! In my opening lines I alluded that some are…but I suppose this could be debated! (I would concede that the majority of breakdowns are not expected, though.)
*round of applause* I so enjoyed reading your write..You’re very adept at telling a story; in such a person way; it keeps the reader on the edge of their seat..Or in this case with eyes glued to my monitor..Life IS full of learning experiences..And life is also full of learning about ourselves..Including what we can and can’t handle or when our cup is running over..Staying progressive while also being productive; take a lot of time management. IF most of us were to use alllll of our talents at one time?!? We would all have breakdowns..Just can’t be done..Love that you released your thoughts onto paper ; excellent form of stress management. Or least thats one of the benefits of writing that I enjoy…Its said that God never gives us more than we can bear..I believe that to be true..But that adage doesn’t include the phrase”without having a breakdown”…Glad you’re still standing! I look forward to reading more of your thoughts in the future..Stay Uplifted & blessed. Sending you a great big virtual hug!
Such a lovely comment to receive! Many thanks for your kind words. For years, writing has been a form of release for me, and I know I am a happier, healthier person for it. I love your observation that if we used all our talents all the time, “we’d all have breakdowns.” Yes indeed! Glad we can learn and grow and hopefully not make these kinds of mistakes too, too often! Back at you with the virtual hug…blessings to you, as well!
🙂
So many of us, as you described, “find Him” when we’ve been searching for “it” all our lives. I was raised very conservative, and am in my mid forties now, and just 3 years ago, I had that AHA moment – and I ran 90 miles an hour – proverbially hollering from the mountaintops, “I’ve finally got it!!”. Then came the emotional crash. Not every body thought my discovery was nearly as neat as I did. I don’t know if I’ve ever found myself in such a trying position as you did physically, but spiritually I was crying on the inside for days. I intrinsically knew that if my family and friends didn’t ‘get it’, they would be the ones outside the Ark, while I was in it. The thought terrified me, and it still does. But, knowing He’s in charge, and trusting Him to make the proper decisions regarding my life and the lives of those I love has been one of the biggest challenges I’ve faced. May you be blessed with your efforts.
“Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit” says the Lord of Hosts. Zechariah 4:6
Thanks for sharing your own version of conversion! I always wanted a “Road to Damascus” type of experience”…but a lot of us raised in the church will never have that. I’m glad you got to have that experience, as did I (to an extent). The issue you raise about not connecting with family and friends is a tough one…and I’m in the same boat as you–I don’t know how to make them “see,” except to just share what I have found. People can argue with theology, but they can’t argue (or not as easily) with personal experience. So that’s my method right now, just to be honest and tell my story, and not to preach. Bless you, as well, and I’m so glad you stopped by!
It is always good to be reminded that we cannot (and should not try) to take the place of God Himself. Thank you.
And thank you for reading!
It’s nice to hear about how you’ve overcome your problems through your own methods. I’m not really regious but it’s nice to read about how religion can help and be a support 🙂
Thanks for reading! I think we can all learn from each other, whether or not we have the same worldview. (I’d say that I didn’t overcome through “my own” methods…I attribute it to God…but what I did do was try to maintain connection with Him, whom I see as my power source.) Glad you enjoyed the blog!
nice
I’ve had breakdowns in my life, mostly unexpected … at first … at closer inspection there was always a reason. And now I have decided to take care of myself, live more in the now and fulfill dreams
A good plan! Best wishes to you!
thanks and to you too … after all a good plan is a good start
Letting go of control is most difficult when we feel that we are responsible for the sum total of all and everything. Learning to trust others and to value their input, even if we feel it is our duty to command, is the beginning of freeing oneself from the slavery and isolation. I have found that if I can release myself from the bond of feeling that I must do it all, I am rewarded, gloriously and awakened by the energy and gifts that others wish to offer. It can be such an entrapment, overwhelming and counter-productive to believe that we, personally, hold the key to the metamorphosis we so desperately feel is necessary to achieve our imagined successes. Teamwork can change that illusion and the results can be ten-fold.
Peace to you. You are halfway home by realizing a change must occur. You sound like an amazing individual. Allow others into the beauty of your hopes and dreams and utilize their contributions as His gift to the unity and purpose you so lovingly want for all.
You sound like quite an amazing individual yourself, with a wealth of wisdom to share. Thanks for this thoughtful comment; you bring up a key issue I didn’t much touch in my post: the need to trust in and rely on others. “…When we feel that we are responsible for the sum total of all and everything…” Whew. That’s a heavy load to carry, and I definitely recognize this feeling in my own life. But you are right–it’s a bond of slavery, and it’s not reality. Thank you for bringing the need for teamwork to the fore; I am getting better at this, but needed the reminder. All best to you, and thanks so much for joining the conversation!
Reblogged this on clister25.
Lindsey, My contribution to the conversation is completely outside the spiritual realm, which is the key topic of your post and the other comments. So, I tender my comment very hesitantly. You might even consider not publishing it on your site. I’m finding probiotics very helpful in dealing with my bouts of crying … so far. It’s only been six weeks, but they’ve been a very pleasant six weeks.
http://cherriezell.wordpress.com/2013/06/24/exercise-depressed/
Cherrie, not a problem! I welcome comments of all shapes and sizes, as long as they don’t offend my sensibilities (and even then, I might publish them out of respect for open dialogue and free speech)! Thanks for the tip…incidentally, I’ve been eating a lot of yogurt since getting pregnant, and I haven’t been crying much lately, so maybe it’s helping!
So wise and true, and beautifully written. I can definitely relate to the feeling of ‘it’s all down to me!’ and the weight of that self imposed responsibility, no matter how well intended. This post is a prefect and timely reminder to me of the need to return, again and again, to focusing on the specific job I am here to do in any one moment…and let others do theirs:-) Thanks for sharing, and congratulations on the Freshly Pressed!
I appreciate your kind words! It’s been an exciting two days getting all these comments, and heartening to realize that so many people go through similar struggles. Best wishes to you in doing that one, “specific job” that only you are meant to do!
Thanks for sharing this! I am a fellow pastor, and I think the red light on my dashboard is blinking at the moment…
I’m glad you were benefited by my humble little musings! God bless you and your ministry, and thanks so much for stopping by!
I can really identify with, “If I don’t watch out, I’ll end up barreling headfirst into another breakdown.” I am also worship leader, youth leader, mother, author, teacher and find myself having these meltdowns about once a year sometimes farther apart. I combat it by listening to my husband and my sister when they say I’ve taken on too much. Usually I think I’m just fine but they see the problem before I do. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve dropped out of everything and slowly eased myself into it all over again. God made us ambitious and talented we just have to remember it’s not US doing it. He doesn’t really need us at all. He could use a rock or a tree.
Oh my, you really do sound busy! You’re right; people around us can see things we can’t. There’s a lot of wisdom in listening to what people tell us about ourselves. Why is it we can see these things about other people, and not ourselves, sometimes? Thanks for the reminder: God doesn’t need us; “He could use a rock or a tree.” Yes indeed. And He has used such things (a talking donkey, a star, and more). Blessings to you, and take care of yourself!
An honest and touching experience. Thanks for sharing.
me too are having a very big breakdown just now…I cried…blaming everyone and also myself for everything that going on around me…but reading your story really an eye opener..thank you
Glad it helped; I hope things begin to look up for you soon. Take some pressure off; do something nice for yourself today!
Great post! I can relate. Praying for godly wisdom as you make decisions about your role in Christian service, and peace for you in the process. As the wife of a former pastor/church-planter, I am reminded of what one of my mentors told me: “Not every need is a calling. Sometimes, we have to not do something so that someone else has the chance to serve in that capacity.” Blessings in your journey.
Reblogged this on For rechaing my gold in life ect..
Thanks for sharing this, Lindsey. I can relate to your struggle. We want to change the world – in a good way, for the right reasons – but the burden of the world is too big. Just overwhelming. I am learning moment-by-moment obedience. I hear of a need in church, want to jump up and help – but I’m learning to let the Spirit lead. We can’t do it all. But thankfully, we are part of a BODY. God bless you on your journey!
Lindsey–thank you for sharing your story! I could certainly relate..although my own breakdown was physical and not emotional. I didn’t take the time to listen to my own body after a long season of serving and putting aside my own needs (really, not even taking a moment to recognized that I do indeed HAVE God-given needs that are right and good to care for) and ended up in the hospital! What I self-diagnosed as an ovarian cyst (and no, I am not a dr.) required emergency surgery, 3 months of recup, and then another surgery. I am now 7+ months past the second surgery and oh…..the inestimable value of what God has done during this time! By allowing me to be sidelined for a while He gave me the time and space to listen, to heal, to ponder…to be with my beloved husband and son. How good He is. And how patient!
Blessings to you, and thank you again. It really is true that our brothers and sisters across the world ARE undergoing the same kinds of struggles that we are!
—Wren
You are One. You can do what One can do along with all the MANY who are also called. If IT doesn’t get done, GOD is big enough to come up with a different plan. 🙂 Blessings!
Hello Lindsey, just read your post and was really impacted by your story. I am a fellow believer in Christ and I relate to what you’ve shared in a lot of ways. I too am a bit of a control freak and feel the need to be “perfect” most of the time. But, reading your post made me think of something my youth Pastor said to me, “Why set expectations for yourself that God himself does not set for you?” In other words, I’ve learned to give myself a break from feeling like I have to be perfect, and like I have to have it “all together,” because God expects me to be myself – as human as I am.
Congrats on being freshly pressed. Just finished reading Hinds’ Feet on High Places. Mountaintops, Valleys and Plateaus; all part of the journey. Thank you for sharing some of yours with me. -Cheers
I really enjoyed reading this. I don’t know how you handled all of that at once, I wouldn’t be able to. But, I myself get stressed out to the point of near break down far too easily. I know how it feels, especially how frustrating it can be. But God has a plan for everyone, and created us all for our own individual purpose. He will give us the strength we need, when we need it, and let us know when we are trying to take on too much when we need to hear it.
Thanks for reminding us that even if we don’t understand why this happens to us, God does, and therefore makes arrangements for us to convalesce. Once you start to think of it in those terms you can see why these examples are in The Bible – interesting that I think many of us skim through 1 and 2 Kings and the like, but now I’ve just sat and read it I realise I’ve been ‘sleeping under a tree and only waking up to eat’ over the last few days (I’ve been off work for a month with my latest low episode) and it’s OK and it’s doing me some good.
It’s interesting that those of us involved in church music (I’m a former DoM and have lately been wondering ‘Should I be doing a bit more again?’ ) are so prone to these situations. I imagine though that it’s that same for many other roles in church, where you are having to combine the skills you know you have with things you don’t really feel equipped for, which may be administration financial control, pastoral care etc etc……
I’m pleased I stumbled across you today; after not not being able to pick up my Bible for weeks and weeks now, I just have, and it reminded me that its full of people who are not extraordinary – they are ordinary people who have extraordinary things happen to them…. And I’m going to hunt some more of them down now. Thanks.
I’m so glad this blog prompted you to pick up your Bible again! Sometimes I have taken breaks from it, too, but whenever I go back to it, I am so encouraged. There is so much wisdom there for us it we only take the time to listen! Blessings to you in your own ministry–may God strengthen you through your trying times!
I know this all too well. I fall into the trap of wanting to ‘fix’ things. Because I see where they can go wrong, and I step up to volunteer. The problem is, both in my career, and in my church (like most churches) if you volunteer to take on more responsibility, they will continue to load you up with responsibility until you cave under it all. Continue to rest. With Vacations, and by creating your own sabbath – where you’re resting in God not working in Him. And just so you know, I still need to remember to do this myself.
Congrats on being FP’d.
I enjoyed reading your blog. There is much great information for all Christians to read and consider. Learning to call on Jesus when life tries to beat us down, when the enemy tries to tell us a lie is the best call we have available to us. He can keep us from going down for good. He is our strength and as we trust and believe Him we can walk on the water with out sinking. Thankyou for writing. Margaret
Thank you for being so candid and openly honest, Lindsey. Yes, we Christian do burn out and have melt-downs on occasion. I’m glad I’m not the only one 😉
Wow a good post! Do check up ny blog too and follow. Haha
Let it all go. Focus on Jesus, alone. Let Him do His work in you. Rest. If you would like, look at the latest post on my blog. I’m wondering if it just might be something similar??
GOD IS LIKE A TEACHER, DURING THE MOST DIFFICULT TESTS & TRIALS, GOD REMAINS QUITE TO LET YOU TRY SUCCEED ON YOUR OWN WITH YOUR FAITH IN HIM, AND WHEN YOU PASS GOD’S TEST, YOU GET A+++ RESULTS FROM GOD..
UNEXPECTED BREAKDOWNS ARE JUST GOD’S WAY OF BRINGING HIS CHILDREN CLOSER TO HIM.
THATS MY OPINION…
Thanks for your thoughts! I like the metaphor of God as teacher…helps remind that sometimes lessons hurt, but these lessons are still needed.
I dont know how I stepped upon your blog but just when I going through a terrible phase, struggling with my job, home, family, health and faith.. your blog comes like an answer to some of my questions:)
God Bless you !!
Wow, what humbling words for me to read. Your comment encourages me to keep writing, even if it makes me vulnerable. It is definitely in those tough times when God can grow us most, and I’m sure he is preparing you right now for things you can’t even see. Hang in there, and stay close to God. He is really the one with the answers, but I’m glad if he used me to help, just a little bit. Bless you, too! Glad to have you reading!
Nice post. I stumbled upon your post but i was worth the read, Actually, i am an atheist but i believe in dualism. Keep it up.
I’m glad you “stumbled” onto my site! I’m happy to have readers of all backgrounds, and I think it’s good for us to realize that our views are not the only ones on earth. Best wishes to you, too!