Getting Refreshed, and Maneuvering Life’s Changes

I stole a few moments away to write this morning before Sam woke up. This is my corner of quiet space while we stay as guests in our Texas home.
I stole a few moments away to write this morning before Sam woke up. This is my corner of quiet space while we stay as guests in our Texas home.

My dad has a simple rule for determining whether you’re an introvert or an extrovert: extroverts draw energy from other people, introverts are drained by the same. There’s no doubt that Dad’s an extrovert. Or that I’m not.

During my past two weeks in Texas, I’ve enjoyed wonderful times with friends. I’ve had meals out with some of them, taken Sam to play with others, and prayed with yet a few more through difficult issues. I feel I have been available to these precious people to an extent I was not able before we moved away. I was even able to bless some of them with the work of my hands and my words of advice or prayers. And I’ve loved every minute of this time.

But last night at 10 p.m., when I realized I had not taken time in seven days to sit down and write, and when I could only gaze defeatedly at The Love Dare book, which has had a bookmark in day 20 for quite some time, I found myself moaning, “I’m not ready for another morning yet.” I knew it was time for this introvert to go “home” and get refreshed herself.

Life is an interesting journey. How did St. Louis become my “home” in just a few months? It’s not “home” in the sense that I have extended family or many friends there (about one friend so far). But it is becoming home in the sense that I have set up my own household, established some patterns, and can expect some routine in my week, more or less. While I love the excitement of our back-and-forth travels from Missouri to Texas, and the extra family time on travel days with “daddy,” I find comfort in routine. And quiet time. And my own space.

I am beginning to doubt this arrangement we have of visiting TX and staying in our old house with my in-laws every couple of months…for the long term (if you missed the details, see this post). Especially if we have another baby. Buc asked me last night, “If we end up getting pregnant, would you rather be based in Texas or in Missouri for the delivery and newborn period?” Good question. There’s no doubt where I would rather be for that early period. Near family and friends. But what about all the days after? As I’ve learned, motherhood gets easier as the first year goes on, but not much easier.

After our last visit, we talked of getting a house in Missouri at the end of this year, but what if there’s a new baby? And no family around to help? And travels back and forth with an infant and toddler?

There would be depression, I’m pretty sure. And maybe insanity.

If we get pregnant, I think we have to look at getting our own space in Texas again, somehow. Maybe it would mean seeing daddy less, as he travels back and forth on business without us in tow. That thought makes me sad, but the thought of toting two kids between two states every couple months, and having to reestablish family patterns, sleep patterns, meal patterns, ALL patterns, every couple of months makes me CRAZY.

For now, I am handling the mild damage control that travel requires when it comes to changes in Sam’s sleep, and changes to Buc’s and my routines. And I have been so blessed to get to see my friends without strings attached (strings such as having to hold offices at my church during this season of early motherhood). But I am relieved to know that this season is temporary–it has to be. At some point, things will change again, and we won’t be traveling so much. I don’t know when, or how, but if there’s anything predictable about life, it is that (as my dad also said), “Life is predictably unpredictable!”

Thanks for the wisdom, Dad.

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4 thoughts on “Getting Refreshed, and Maneuvering Life’s Changes

  1. Luanne April 28, 2015 / 12:00 pm

    Ugh, I thought my back and forth between Arizona and California was exhausting, but I don’t have a baby.

    • lindseygendke April 28, 2015 / 12:08 pm

      Lol! Yes! I shudder to imagine TWO babies!

  2. ccyager April 29, 2015 / 7:55 am

    Hi, Lindsey,

    Yeah, I can totally relate to your introversion and being tired from all the people. When I have to be an extrovert — at my job, for example — I tire much faster than if I can just do my thing. The upside of dealing with a health crisis the last few months is that I’ve had lots of solitude and time to recharge my intellectual and emotional batteries.

    As for choosing a place to settle, to really establish a home, I think you may be getting a little ahead of yourself. It’s normal, especially during travel, to think about future travels and how changed family circumstances might impact them. Just enjoy the present! Stay in the present moment and take the pressure off. It may transpire that you end up not having the control over the future that you’d like regarding where you live, travel, etc. Enjoy the Now. Go with the flow when things start moving. And don’t forget to breathe. 🙂

    Cinda

    • lindseygendke April 30, 2015 / 12:02 pm

      Hi Cinda,

      Thanks for “getting” the introversion thing. It was so good to get back to our little townhouse in St. Louis, especially since I had “homied” up the place before we left and left it clean and tidy. Maybe it is starting to grow on me…and maybe we won’t move out or buy a house (in TX or MO) at the end of the year…maybe you are right: just enjoy the present and let the future take care of itself. I think that’s a good plan for today. And now, I am going to get a little more refreshed and take Sam’s nap time to catch up on some writing. I hope your recovery continues to go well; pulling for you!

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