Professing—My Unexpected Blessing

With my manuscript deadline at hand, I knew this week would be busy. Before I got the job offer last Thursday, I didn’t know how busy. Suddenly, in addition to finishing my book manuscript in one week, I am becoming an adjunct professor, too!

I got the call last Thursday (six days before my first class—yikes!), and five days later, I am still in awe at God’s goodness. This past year has been all about me learning that when I humble myself in the sight of the Lord, He lifts me up (James 4:10). Repeatedly broken to knee-point this past year, I have found peace in the surrender to Jesus and His plans for me. I gave up certain plans I thought would not pan out (such as a PhD and professing at my alma mater) to follow new directions in which I felt called: authorship and parenthood. (By the way, we are supposedly finding out the baby’s sex this week, too!)

It was when I surrendered the professing idea that we got pregnant and the book really started taking shape. I thought: “This is okay; God’s really got this.” I haven’t been making any serious money for two years, but I’ve been faithfully sowing seeds in hopes that they will grow into a money tree (er, some kind of career), however small.

By sowing seeds I mean writing my memoir, which goes out to a professional author/editor this week for a consultation. The book is not in its final form, by any means, but at 256 pages, it is a complete draft that says, more or less, what I want it to say. There’s a part of me that wants to keep polishing it, but mostly, especially after faced with having to prepare a semester’s syllabus in a couple days, I think it wise to give the book (and my brain) a break while other eyes ponder it. It will be good to focus on something else for awhile and then come back refreshed to revise in a month or so.

The one-class professing gig on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays (which happens to be right down the road) will be the perfect vehicle for me to do just that.

And I was just starting to miss the classroom a bit.

Today I can only shake my head and marvel at the wisdom of God’s plans and His timing. Maybe this turn of events doesn’t sound like that big of a deal, but for me, it is. I used to have such issues with needing to be in control of my future. I didn’t handle unknowns well. I got physically sick from anxiety. But since learning to let go (and please know that sometimes I still need remediation), life has become a joy, full of surprises and good gifts from the hand of God. Now, instead of being just a professor, or just a writer, or just a parent, I am suddenly all three! Daily I am reminded that God “is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us” (Eph. 3:20).

If you’re struggling today over the plans for your future, or if you feel physically or emotionally sick from not knowing what’s to come, why not ask God to take the reigns and pave the path for you? He might not make things clear right away, but if you earnestly pray, you can rest in the knowledge that even when we don’t know what to pray for, “the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans.…And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (Rom. 8:26, 28). Finally, when we put God first, we can rest in the promises that “there is no want to those who fear the Lord” (Ps. 34:9), and God shall supply “all” our needs “according to the riches of His glory in Christ Jesus” (Phil. 4:19). Amen!

For some inspiration today, check out the song “When I Let It Go” by Sierra. This is a throwback to one of my dad’s favorite Christian groups from the 90s, and lately it has brought me to tears (in a good way!).

This time I’ve got to trust You
I’ve got to accept Your plan
I have tried to guide my circumstance
But there’s just no way I can
When will I learn this lesson
Your ways are not like mine
Lord, help me to surrender
The control I try to have on my life
When I let it go
You take my hand and gently lead me
Then You let me know
Just how peaceful my life can be
When I let it go
Your never-ending blessings
Like a river start to flow
When I let it go
Too many times I’m searching
For the things I think I need
When I try to look for more
I always seem to give You less of me
Lord, help me gain this wisdom
My foolish mind still lacks
‘Til I find a way to let go
Of the part of me I’m holding back

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7 thoughts on “Professing—My Unexpected Blessing

  1. stemgir1 August 27, 2013 / 4:00 pm

    Romans 8:28, one of my favorite verses…had it written on a cake 32 years ago when I finished treatment for osteosarcoma. Lovely post. Congratulations and best wishes.

    • lindseygendke August 28, 2013 / 10:08 am

      Thank you! The right Bible verse at the right time can work wonders in changing our perspective. Blessings to you!

  2. Kate August 29, 2013 / 9:57 pm

    Wow, Lindsey! This is amazing! I love seeing God at work! I can remember when I lived in th way you described….just on a ‘need to know’ basis with God, letting Him lead…and it was the most peaceful time in my life. For various reasons, the letting go and trusting is a little harder for me. I have no problem giving Him the reins; it’s just trusting that whatever unfolds from that is truly His work, not just the wild disaaray that happens when things feel ‘untended’! I hope you will still have time to blog! Love reading and following!

    • lindseygendke September 7, 2013 / 10:36 pm

      Kate, whew! It’s been harder finding time to blog since I got this new job, but I think once the dust finishes settling, I’ll be blogging a little more regularly. Once a week is working out for me right now, but maybe I’ll get back to more, soon. Thanks so much for keeping up with me; it might take me a little longer to catch up to your blog and others these days, but I’ll get around to it eventually!

      • Kate September 8, 2013 / 5:05 pm

        Glad things are going well! I am sure you must be really busy, esp with the new job, the new baby…lots of exciting things going on! Transitions are crazy. My blog might suffer a bit once I am back teaching, but I am determined to make it work this time! Glad you are still on board…love to read your writing. 🙂

      • lindseygendke September 9, 2013 / 9:21 am

        Craziness with transitions indeed! It’s a bit of a chaotic time, but it’s all very exciting and I wouldn’t change very much. I wish you the best you head back to school for another year! May God bless you! And I’ll be on board (if sporadically) for as long as I can!

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