Rejected…and Resting

Photo by sundesigns

My heart is a bit heavy today. I got news that the publisher who had been evaluating my manuscript for the past seven months–and who gave me reason to believe they wanted it–doesn’t actually want it.

My heart is not heavy because this specific publisher rejected me. It’s heavy because I got my hopes up…and because I don’t have anything left to give this project right now.

I know the typical course of action would be to reread, revise, and re-submit. And I’m sure I’ll do that eventually. But right now, as a stay-at-home mom of a very active toddler, that thought exhausts me. Physically. Emotionally. Spiritually.

There are also a number of signs telling me my time for a published memoir has not yet come. Chief most, I’ve realized I’m “stupid in love”–stupid in motherhood and wifehood and homemaking (I will post on that next time–and maybe write a second memoir about that one day)–and I don’t have the time and energy both to correct those faults and to build a platform, an audience, a website, and otherwise handle the activity that a published book demands.

Did I mention that we’re trying for a second baby?

Yes, my cup runneth over with good and challenging things right now; I don’t need a published memoir to add more to-do’s.

I just have to get over the disappointment of this rejection, which was a very nice rejection, by the way. (The editor who notified me said the editorial board liked my manuscript, but they just weren’t sure it would sell.)

So, given my exhaustion and my full plate, my strategy right now is not to rush revisions, but to rest and pray until I next feel God telling me to move. In the meantime, I will tend to other good things on my plate, like The Love Dare, a planned family picture wall (so Sam doesn’t forget his relatives), and a stack of books on raising toddlers. But first, if you’ll excuse me, I might just cry for awhile.


7 thoughts on “Rejected…and Resting

  1. The Average Jen April 8, 2015 / 2:01 pm

    You’re not alone! I’ve been there many times, had many of those good cries–knowing God will bring about his best, while still feeling the sting of disappointment in the process. Praying for you, and praying that at the right time, the right doors will open.

    • lindseygendke April 8, 2015 / 2:06 pm

      Hey, thanks for commiserating! And thanks for the prayers. I trust there is a reason that this didn’t work out right now. I also have faith that it will in the future. God’s timing is best. Thanks for your support.

  2. Alayne Fenasci April 8, 2015 / 2:46 pm

    I can tell you all the regular things… All in good time; Something better is in store; This is only one small part of a bigger picture; etc. In all honesty, I don’t believe an experience like this “boils down to” any one simple phrase, lesson, or essay. As a fellow writer, wife, and mom, I know only one thing: There aren’t always words. That’s why life is such a real thing. It’s bigger than the ways we can explain it. There’s nothing wrong with you if you aren’t ideally wise at every moment (no one is). As long as you are interested in moving forward, even if it’s just one foot in front of the other some days, or holding together status quo on other days (yes, that counts), you are exactly what God is seeking.

    Your acceptance letter can be found in Romans 8:37-39
    And your assurance of success is in Romans 16:20

    Much love, many prayers, and all of Gods best,

    • lindseygendke April 8, 2015 / 3:20 pm

      Thanks so much, Alayne. I love the “acceptance letter.” So true about one foot in front of the other some days, and no words sometimes. I am definitely not wise most of the time…but I am trying to lean to tap into God’s wisdom always. I know he always has words even if I don’t, and that’s what I’ll try to seek. Thanks for commiserating!

  3. howsyourlovelife April 8, 2015 / 3:48 pm

    Sitting next to you, arm loosely around your shoulder, not saying a word.

  4. ccyager April 16, 2015 / 10:41 am

    Hi, Lindsey,

    This particular rejection may be a blessing, the Universe telling you that you need to take off some of the pressures that are in your life right now and focus better. And frankly, putting a piece of writing away for a while benefits the writing. So, think of putting the memoir on the shelf as part of its development. Return to it in a year or so, when you feel ready, and I bet you’ll find yourself not only in a different place, but also more productive and creative in resolving any issues.

    Sit back, relax, and enjoy life right now! Spring is here!

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