Bewildered and Blocked

I’m at a loss to be witty or clever or insightful today. Rather, I feel bewildered by areas of life that need my attention. I’m stuck at the same point of three weeks ago when I last blogged. My house, my life, my mind is cluttered right now. My house is not finished yet, though I’ve been told it will be this week. Throughout this two-month renovation project, I’ve escaped the house at least twice a week on mornings or afternoons when my mother-in-law has watched Sam so I could write. I did write on these mornings and afternoons, until today (and this quick post, cobbled together in the last moments of my writing time).

Over the past three weeks, I finished my book proposal and sent it in and I worked on some promotional copy for Paul Coneff’s and my book, which I hope will come out in July. I also worked on a magazine article about two friends who chose Jesus and changed their lives, and I received the good news that it will be featured on the front page of the magazine.

Since my last writing session of last week, I haven’t felt like writing, and that’s not like me. I think the desire will come back when order in my house comes back, and when I get caught up on some family things. God also seems to be hinting that I need to deal with some hidden “roots”: I’ve realized I have some insidious roots about my body image (as I struggle to lose the pregnancy weight) and music. Growing up, I used to love playing piano, but today I can hardly make myself do it. I have a lot of negative emotions about music that I can’t explain, whereas I used to have many positive ones. Weird, huh? When I can focus to pray deeply again, I want to delve into those roots.

In any case, please stay tuned; I am confident I will get past this “block” eventually!

 

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4 thoughts on “Bewildered and Blocked

  1. Vinodhini July 1, 2014 / 3:38 am

    Yes this too shall pass… Smile be of good cheer…

    Love
    Vinodhini

    • lindseygendke July 2, 2014 / 1:36 pm

      A great reminder…thanks! Have a wonderful day!

  2. ccyager July 1, 2014 / 8:37 am

    Blocked? Dear Lindsey, please read your post! You have accomplished quite a lot in the last three weeks in your writer’s life. But I know that feeling. It may not have been what you wanted to accomplish and so it’s not real or not enough. I do that to myself all the time.

    Having said that, I too have problems settling down to being creative when my surroundings are in upheaval. I can’t imagine what it’s like with renovations going on around you. But as Vinodhini says, this too shall pass. Nothing is permanent, as the Buddhists say. Here is Minnesota, we say if you’re happy with the weather, wait 5 minutes! (smile)

    I imagine Sam watching you write, mesmerized, wondering what mom is doing, but loving just being able to watch as long as he’s quiet. If you make your writing important in your life with your family, they will appreciate and respect it…..

    Cinda

    • lindseygendke July 2, 2014 / 1:36 pm

      Haha! Thanks for the encouragement, Cinda! You brought up a good point, and I think I was being too hard on myself. Life looks easier to handle today, now that my bedroom has been put back together. Hoping for an entire house back to normal within a few days.

      And a few days’ writing break has been good for me; today I feel like getting back to it. Did you know I am from Minnesota? I can’t remember if we’ve talked about that before. But I lived in the central part of the state. In TX we say that about the weather, too! I really miss MN summers, though. Summer used to be the best time of year up there, but in TX, summer is the worst time. Oh well. Hope you’re doing well and writing is coming easy!

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