You can view this photo here.
I’ve been trying this morning to figure out why Kim Kardashian would make the brainless remark I heard from her today on NBC: Regarding her unexpected pregnancy with Kanye West during her pending divorce with another man, she said: “It couldn’t be planned for.”
Notice her use of the passive voice to avoid placing herself in the subject position—or the position where she must logically be the one planning things. The only reason I can come up with for her saying this is that her sense of shame is equal to her sense of responsibility: absolutely none.
And the only reason I am giving her space on my blog is to speak out against the insidious, (I think Satanic) lies she is clearly living by:
1) The lie that she doesn’t have to take responsibility for her actions.
2) The lie that her actions don’t matter to others.
From a Christian perspective (but mostly just that of a logical human being), I’d like to correct her erroneous beliefs by asking:
- In response to #1: Before getting pregnant, was she aware of the biological implications of having sex? Nuff said.
- In response to #2: Has she ever been affected by her own parents’ decisions?
Note on #2: I’ve resisted getting too cozy with the Kardashian family, so I don’t know much about her background. I seem to have heard, however, that it is only because of family connections that she is even famous (what does she do, anyway?)
But I digress. I don’t really want to talk about Kim Kardashian; I’m actually using her to speak to a societal problem at large, and finally, to talk about myself.
What Happens When Parents Don’t Plan (or Satan Screws Things Up)
I’m sure it’s only because I have personally seen the damage of irresponsible parental planning (or lack thereof) like Kim’s that I care so much about this topic—that I was positively incensed to hear such flippancy about the parental role.
I’m sure it’s for the same reason that, in a class discussion with my seniors while I was still teaching, I was similarly incensed. That day, a “free” discussion day, we were talking about sex, and one of the boys, when asked why he had it (it was a very open class), simply said, “Because it feels good.”
Oh really? I asked him, proceeding to launch into a tirade that went something like this:
Have you thought about the long-term implications of “feeling good”? Have you thought that “feeling good” could result in a baby? And what about that baby? Will he be glad his dad enjoyed some “good sex” when he gets old enough to wonder why mom and dad don’t love each other, why they aren’t together? When he is old enough to wonder who he is, if not a child that was planned for by a mommy and daddy that cared enough to provide a solid foundation for his well-being and self-understanding?
In class that day I didn’t reveal the roots underlying this outburst, but I will allude to some of them here.
Though I know that my parents made a much better effort to plan than it seems Kim has done, well, Satan intervened and screwed things up (that’s how all bad roots start).
Family life was good until age fourteen, when it all fell apart. And then came the displacement that grows out of broken homes. Then came the emptiness that sprouts from seeing your parents weren’t meant to be together—and that I was a product of a failed relationship (did that make my existence a failure?). Then, there was the anger that results from realizing that someone didn’t care enough to plan for me, to think about what I would need, not just as an infant, but as a child, a teenager, and a young adult.
And these bad roots sprang up even from a Christian home where the parents never planned for divorce. Heaven help those homes (and hearts) where it is no secret that the parents were never even trying to build a home, or a family.
What Is the Takeaway?
So, after all that, where is the nugget of hope that you should expect from a Christian blogger like me? Where is the hope for a society ravaged by divorce, broken families, and brokenness? Where is the hope when bad things can happen that we didn’t plan for?
I’ll be answering all of those questions over time. However, for today, I would just offer two lessons sparked by Kim Kardashian (oddly enough):
1) Know what you can plan for, and take responsibility for it. Do you know that sex produces babies? Okay then. Did Kim know it? Uh oh…there’s the loophole.
Lot’s of people knowingly plan for babies out of wedlock, or at least are not bothered by the thought of it. That’s because, I suppose, in Kim’s world (our world?), this is normal—we have been so brainwashed by Hollywood as to feel no sense of obligation to the family unit and its societal implications—instead, we tend to put ourselves first. Which brings up my second lesson of the day, this one from Scripture:
2) By beholding we become changed. I think this verse immediately sprang to mind today because, as I watched Kim speak, and speak none too intelligently, I felt a fascinated outrage (you know, that kind when you just can’t look away?) that these are the types of celebrities our young people are beholding on a regular basis.
These are the poster people whom “reputable” stations like NBC are only too happy to beam to the world, disguising the poster people’s brainlessness, brokenness, and immorality by makeup, glamour, and glitz. Newscasters who seem responsible are trained to treat yet another illegitimate baby, and with it, a home-wrecking legal battle, as fun, lighthearted news. She, the newscaster, smiles and nods as Kim bats her eyelashes and explains that, in light of her fertility issues, this pregnancy was just a “happy surprise.” (Conversely, neither Kim nor the newscaster makes any mention of the devastation to follow as the child grows up out of these unfavorable beginnings). The clip ends with the newscaster plugging Kim’s new show and wishing her well. Kim is praised for her infidelity, immorality, and promiscuity. America applauds.
By beholding, we are becoming changed.
Readers, what do you think? Have I got it right? And are you frightened, too, by our society’s our children’s, fascination with role models like Kim Kardashian? Do we actually buy it, or am I just a wounded, overgrown child overreacting? Will Kim’s kid someday be able to laugh and dismiss an absent dad (or mom) and his sense of rootlessness when Kim, flashing her winning smile, explains, “Honey, it just couldn’t be planned for”? [Will the kid also ask, What do you mean by ‘it,’ anyway?]
I agree 100% with your comments. We live a world that has the mentality that it is all about “me”. The world owes me. If I choose to have 5 kids and no job, the government should support me. If I choose not to be a productive member of society that’s ok too. The government will give me money, food, even a cell phone. It’s ok if I look at porn every day or have an affair and betray my marriage vows, I deserve it! It makes me feel good.
I have learned a lot so far from the foster care/adoption journey that we embarked on in May. The stories that I have heard of what people have done to innocent children for the gratification of self makes me weep. There are 28,883 children if foster care, and 10,768 that are free for adoption in Texas alone.
I believe that there is an increasing number of people in our society who feel no shame or responsibility for their actions. They see people like Kim who are held up as role models. Or better yet, how about Bill Clinton being named Father of the Year, by the National Father’s Day Council. Gag! Children born into homes unplanned and unloved are the innocent victims. What happens as these damaged, broken kids grow up? A lot of them will continue the cycle all over again.
I could go on, but I will end my rant with this thought. I know how this world can anger and sadden me, but can you imagine how our Heavenly Father must feel when he looks down upon his creation? How he must long for the moment when he can say that’s enough, it’s time to bring my faithful children home!
Tammy, thanks so much for your thoughts. You have a valuable perspective as one within the foster care/adoption system. It is unbelievably sad how little responsibility so many adults take for their actions, especially when it negatively impacts their children. Thanks for the thought about going home to our heavenly Father. He truly is our only hope!